How to Mend

Posted on Mon Jun 5th, 2017 @ 2:08pm by Commander Cor Cordale & Lieutenant Commander Ziyal Tajor

Mission: Awakening
Location: Lounge

"I hope I did the right thing, cause it sure don't feel that way."

The Thux stood, looking out one of the many view windows to the stars beyond. In his living hand, an Old Fashioned style of whiskey glass. In that glass, there was some old fashioned whiskey. Or maybe it was scotch... The Thux would say that it came with the glass, and move on.

On the table near him, laid out for two potential people to join him, were two identical glasses.

"I could sure use a laugh right now. Or some guidance. Or something..." he paused, seemingly either practicing a speech or speaking to the glasses themselves. "You look out at the sky and think it's going to be so easy, everything is so clear cut and direct. Then you get something like this and now everything's a shade of grey. Nothing is solid except what you hope, and everyone tells you that THAT is what to expect. That it doesn't get easy. That it doesn't go back." the Thux took a slow sip. "Don't get me wrong, no regrets. I'll never regret any decision I made till now, and I promise I won't regret this one.. just.. I wish this one didn't feel so hollow."

Ziyal made her way into the lounge and spotted Cor instantly. She made her way over and put her hand on one of the seats. "This spot taken?" She asked quietly.

Kevin quietly entered the lounge. Looking around, he saw Lieutenant Commander Cordale and made his way over to the Chief Engineer. He was about to speak when he realised the Thux wasn't alone, the Chief Strategic Operations Officer Lieutenant Tajor was with him. His breathing quickened, the palms of his hands began to sweat and he felt a little light headed.

Closing his eyes, he counted slowly backwards from five to zero as he'd been taught, then opened his eyes again.

"You asked to see me Commander?" he said in a low voice.

Cordale turned to the first voice he heard, and gave a shake of his head towards Ziyal, "Please. I could do with some company that's actually here." he gave her a smirk, motioning to the other two glasses. Whatever he was about to say stopped when he saw Kevin approaching. "Ahhh, Kevin. Have a sit with us?" he motioned not only to Ziyal but to include the other two glasses as well. "Never hurts to have friends when you're a little down. I gave you a call to see if you were up for a bit of air."

"I was gonna get myself a little something to eat after, well, chatting with my brothers about some hard times we all just kinda went through." he chuckled a bit into his scotch. "As usual, Cal's no help aside from a few laughs, though Sil's always a big help." he motioned from one glass to the next as he named each. "They were my brothers. I lost them to the mines." a lie. He lost them to the Ferengi... but that wasn't a wound worth opening now.

"They're helping me cope with having to turn my back and leave all those people to their fate." he explained.

Ziyal thought about getting up as Kevin approached, they had gotten off on the wrong foot. He had called her a traitor, something she took very personally. Then when he had tried, and in Ziyal's mind failed, to apologize, things had gotten worse. On official business, she had done her best to still be professional. Thankfully, there was little that she technically needed to see him for and she could ignore him at the staff meetings most of the time. However, she stayed seated for some reason. She wasn't going to let him drive her away from a friend. However, she did give him a small death glare when he sat down. Ziyal nodded solemnly at Cor's words. She had heard some of his backstory before.

Kevin started to take his seat, but as he did so, out of the corner of his eye, he caught the glare from Ziyal and immediately stood up again. He was still feeling fragile, and it had taken his Assistant Chief and inordinate amount of persuasion to get him to leave his quarters to come and meet the Chief Engineer.

"If you could just let me know what it is you wanted from me Sir, I can perhaps give you an answer, otherwise, I'm afraid, in my current state, certain circumstances have me...fatigued and I feel it best that I return to my quarters" Kevin said, not taking any of Ziyal's nonsense.

"Honestly? Just wanted to get you out and have a sit. Maybe a nibble and a chat." a pause, "Introduce you to a little of my history, as it were. If you truly feel you have to go though, I'm in no position to stop you. Not part of my idiom." he actually gave a smirk. "Though, if you have to split, hope you feel better soon man. I can certainly relate a bit."

"Something's just leave a bitter taste Sir, if it's all the same with you I'll just have some water" Kevin replied, tentatively sitting down on the edge of his seat.

Ziyal ignored Kevin. She sipped on some Kanar while Cor and Kevin talked. "So, what were you remembering about them?" She asked

"The scotch is for them." Cor mentioned, then addressed Ziyal's question, "The way we all laughed. The way we all would get drunk and play What'cha Got. We had a deck of cards, well, most of a deck of cards. It was a game we invented where you had to guess what cards you had." he smirked, "Sil was a champ at it. Though I think that's mostly cause either he was smarter than Cal and I, or less drunk. One of the two."

He took another sip. "Sil always picked the best tunnels. He just had this knack. Most of the time he was right as to which tunnels wouldn't collapse." a pause, as he flexed the hand of his prosthetic, "Most of the time." then he turned to one of the glasses. "No no no, I don't blame you. Never did, never will. It's a tunnel for Source's sake. Not like you have Cave Telepathy or something." and then he turned to his living guests.

"He blamed himself a lot for what happened to me. Started to second guess himself and everything. Took Cal and I a lot of time to get his confidence back up." he chuckled. "I must look crazy, drinking with the ghosts of my brothers." he finished his scotch, then switched glasses with one on the table. "Sil's a light drinker."

"I was told by a Counsellor once that if you think you're talking to the departed, you are in fact just talking to your subconscious" Kevin said "They also added that there weren't things such as ghosts or apparitions, it was just our perception in our minds eye of how we think the person or persons would have reacted."

"It's entirely possible." Cordale nodded, "Though, I like to think that wherever they are, they're looking at me and aren't too disappointed. I mean, I'm here now because of them, so the least I can do is keep them up to date."

"I guess we all just deal with things differently. I like to think that my brothers are out there somewhere, some warm sunny beach in the AfterThux."

"Sorry, I have no belief in an 'afterlife' Sir" Kevin said "I'm not decrying anyone who does, if it's what they want to believe, then that fair enough. My own personal belief is we're born, we do the best we can with what we're taught or learn, then we pass on. I have friends mind you who believe that what you do in this life entitles you to better in the next, and yet again some others who believe if you do wrong in this life, the you end up in 'a' version of Dantes inferno. I guess it's each to their own."

Ziyal was not sure if she wanted to reveal anything about what she believed. She glanced at Kevin, annoyed at how shallow his beliefs appeared to be. So she spoke to Cor, "In my experience, prayer is more then just us talking to ourselves or listening to what we really think. It's surprising how often it is that we are told to do or say something that we normally would never say and often, things that we know we would never do. The responses to our prayers can surprise and baffle us. However, following the Hebitian Records and the still small voice inside me has never failed to lead me in the right direction."

"I really am sorry for what happened back in the Sickbay Lieutenant" Kevin said, looking round at Ziyal "We were both under the influence of the drug given us by the doctor. You can choose to accept it, or not, but it is honest. I realise that you dislike me, and that is your prerogative, but at least know that I hate myself as well, because that's not who I really am, and that's not what I'm really like. I'm not expecting to be in your good books, but at least I've let you know."

Ziyal looked at Kevin again, contemplating him. She didn't want to take his apology. However, she knew that she should. "Then don't blame the drugs, you were an ass the first time we met and I hope you weren't on drugs then. Blaming the drugs is a way of deflecting responsibility from yourself for your own rotten heart." Ziyal said, perhaps a touch too fiercely. She paused and took a breath. "Listen, if you are sorry for what you said, there, then I am too. I probably said some things I shouldn't have as well."

"At the moment, I can't really say how I was before the incident in Sickbay, there's..." and he stopped talking and screwed up his eyes as he closed them and took in a long, deep breath.

Cordale held up a hand, to save anyone any further talking. "I'm certain we've all said things we didn't enjoy saying a few moments after. Source knows I've lost my temper at the wrong time and it's probably cost me a pip or two." he smirked, then turned serious. Well, slightly more serious. "I'm not expecting all sunshine and rainbows here. I know how folks work, and asking for that is tough. Let's just focus on being better from here out. I mean after all, there's not a lot of ship when you're trying to avoid someone, and eventually we'll all have to work together right?"

He took a slow sip of his 'renewed' scotch.

"Well, I've never avoided anyone in my life Commander" Kevin said, eye's still closed "and I'd like think that people didn't want to have to avoid me, my doors always been open."

Cor actually smiled, despite Kevin's closed eyes. "Nahhh, I didn't actually literally mean avoid avoid. Hell I know a few places on this old bird where it'd take a Marine squad days to find me." he chuckled, and motioned between the two with his scotch, "The trick to an open door policy is... while it sounds nice and inviting, it really means that you're in your office, waiting for someone else to come through that door. Sometimes, you gotta step out of your office and meet someone half way."

"Listen to me, full on rambleThux." he chuckled again, "But damn did I need a good laugh. So on that, thanks you two. Thux couldn't ask for a better pair of friends."

Ziyal looked at Kevin, she was still not sure if she liked him. However, she had forgiven him for what he had said. However, the scars remained. Her eyes flicked back to Cor. "Aye, to friends." She said, lifting the glass.

Kevin wasn't quite sure how to take what the Chief Engineer had said, it hadn't been his intention to provide hilarity.

"Listen, it took a lot for me to get out here, the last thing I was looking for was to provide amusement for you" Kevin said, slowly opening his eyes and placing his glass of water on the table. He stood up and looked at Ziyal "I really am sorry, and I apologise for what happened between us, I hope you can forgive me."

He looked at the Thux and shook his head "As for you Sir, I'm glad I could provide you with the amusement and fulfilled your requirement of the need to have a jester. If you'll excuse me I don't feel to good, I feel I must return to my quarters."

Cordale gave Kevin a look, and gave him a shake of the head when he was done, "If you honestly think I was laughing *at* you.. then yeah, hope you feel better." The Thux offered, then warmed up a touch, "Now, I know, you know, and everyone else knows that wasn't the intent, but I don't want to keep you if you aren't feeling well, so I'll come check in on you later."

"That's the thing Commander, you don't know what I think. You may think you do, but in all honesty, you just don't" Kevin said "it felt like that, believe me when I say it. Anyway, I do need to retire to my quarters. Goodnight Commander, Lieutenant Tajor" he added, turning and bowing slightly to Ziyal.

Ziyal nodded at Kevin, "Good night Lieutenant Killbane." Ziyal said neutrally.